I don't get comfort from many of the sayings that are out there to ease the pain of bereaved parents. In fact they irritate me. "God needed another angel" "Too beautiful for Earth". Sorry, in my opinion that's a bunch of crap.
However, I do get comfort knowing that Emma never knew any pain or suffering in her brief little life. Her mom and dad lovingly talked to her all the time, she heard songs and stories, she felt loving gentle hands touching her little body as it stretched out from my stomach, she felt warmth and love all the time. Even in her death she didn't appear to suffer. It was as if she went to sleep and never woke up.
As a parent the only thing you want is for your child to be happy and free of any suffering, and I know that is what Emma experienced. It is only us shattered people left behind on Earth that feel the pain, and as a mommy I'm okay with that. As long as my baby is okay then I can handle the pain. I'll gladly be the one to suffer as long as she's not. It's just one of the ways I keep myself sane. At the end of the day Emma is okay and I'm the one that's not, and as long as she's okay then I can deal. Does that makes sense? I don't even know if the words in my mind are coming out the way I want them to.
But for now it's time to go to sleep, and hope that tonight will be one of the nights that I sleep so heavily that I don't even remember my dreams in the morning. That even though my mind is probably not getting a break I won't remember either way. Goodnight friends. <3