Tonight I visited with a special friend and had a chance to talk about Emma, have that good cry that was overdue, and even share Emma's picture. It all felt really good. Sharing her picture especially. There are a lot of feelings that go along with that, probably enough for a whole post, and I don't have the energy for that.
The other night the song Take My Hand, Precious Lord popped into my head. It is one of the songs we played at Emma's memorial service. Some of the words really capture how I feel right now, and they are sometimes the only prayer I can mutter.
"Precious Lord, take my hand
Lead me on, let me stand
I am tired, I am weak, I am worn
Through the storm, through the night
Lead me on to the light..."
Worn is exactly how I feel. This week has been long and trying. It's been one of the weeks that I just want to be alone in the quiet safety of my home talking to no one. One of the weeks that I am in disbelief of my life and the weight of grief that I will always carry. It sounds dark and gloomy but that's grief for you.