Have you ever seen the children's book, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day? It has this grouchy little guy laying in bed on the front cover. Yes. I think I felt like Alexander today.
Today was my first official day back to work. There's nothing like going back to work when you are supposed to be on maternity leave. The last time I was in a faculty meeting and interacting with my co-workers was on the last day of school when I was itching to start my summer vacation (that was going to last until October) and make my final preparations for Emma's arrival just a few weeks later. I guess the good thing about today is that I've had tears building up for a few days now and today I finally got them out.
I still have a lot of anxiety about getting through the next few weeks of transitioning back into work, but there were some things that made today easier: coming home to my amazing husband, talking to my mom on the phone, getting some cards in the mail, friends who ask if you need a hug and then let you cry on their shoulder, coming home to a surprise present from a thoughtful friend, a supportive community of bereaved parents who check in on you to make sure you're okay, friends who are able to tell you that they don't know what to say but they are there for you, people who are willing to spend their time and money to bring us dinner so we don't need to cook, and right now most of all....being tucked in my cozy little house, wearing my pajamas, and being snuggled in on the couch.